


Severus Snape and the Magical Muggle Cauldron

by SweetEdelweiss



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crockpots, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-04 16:54:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10283642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetEdelweiss/pseuds/SweetEdelweiss
Summary: Luna Lovegood inadvertently introduces Snape to the slow cooker.





	

“Professor Snape!”

Severus didn't even look up. “20 points from Ravenclaw for shouting in the hallways, Miss Lovegood.” 

She appeared to have rapidly weighed and accepted this judgement, because Lovegood continued from the front of his desk at a conspiratorial whisper. “Professor, my dad got me a tiny Muggle cauldron for Christmas! It runs on the lectricity, and it's brilliant. May I use it for today's class, sir?” 

Severus sighed, glancing up to see the girl holding a mid-sized box. “Go to your corner, Lovegood, and sit down. Class is beginning.” She hurried over, pausing only to share a whisper with the female Weasley. 

Lovegood had her corner in which, through only the grace allotted to fools, she had not yet managed to melt any cauldrons or walls. An experimental placement of Female Weasley by Lovegood as first years had only managed a larger disaster, surprisingly. Weasley hadn't forgotten the last time Lovegood had set herself on fire, it seemed. At least Female Weasley knew the proper spells this time, and could be counted on to act as rapidly as she had previously. And eyebrows grew back rapidly, anyway. He couldn't see what the fuss had been about.

A happy Luna was actually one of his favorite moods, but unfortunately he wouldn't be able to savor it today. Usually he left the girl alone in the corner, and just failed her when she turned the potion in. 

But a happy Lovegood was a heedless Lovegood. The girl wasn't especially competitive at the best of times, and he'd made a game of it to see how many points he could take from Ravenclaw and more specifically Luna in a class. On normal days, it was far more difficult. He'd not been able to break the previous record (210, set when Lovegood was in a similar state), since the second years had learned the silencing spell. He nearly admired the Slytherin nature of whoever had been using it, as he hadn't been able to catch the culprit yet. Some member of the class must be more intelligent than they looked. Not that that would be especially difficult.

Unfortunately, though, for his own purposes, today was a delicate or at least potentially explosive potion, so he would have to simply have to leave her in the corner and hope for the class being a few cobblestones or one dreamy blonde less at the end of the day. It was slightly above their level, of course, but how else could they learn? His mood soured further as he began teaching and realized that the girl must have heard his exasperation as permission to use the tiny Muggle cauldron. 

 

Severus didn't particularly care what Luna was doing with her potion, but had to smirk when he noticed the girl's set up. It looked as though she had lit one end of a cord with blue, heavily sparking fire, and actually remembered a shield this time, if Female Weasley’s distance had any indication. 

Lovegood seemed to be happily measuring out about 1/3 the liquid that would be required for a cauldron of that size to not leave an explosive or acidic mess. She was also pouring the liquids in regardless of order. The next time he glanced up, she seemed to be sniffing a herb before tossing it in, closing the lid, and becoming extremely interested in one of the stones in the wall. 

After the first fifteen minutes, he could barely spare the time to look over. The death-defying Gryffindors consistently took bravery to the point of brash stupidity, and had to be watched closely to prevent the over-confidence that consistently caused disaster. Furthermore, a Ravenclaw had somehow managed a particularly deadly steam that should have been impossible from the given ingredients. Whenever he could spare the time, though, Lovegood was staring gormlessly at the wall. No stirring or checking, just occasional sparks flying higher. At least the day could be salvaged by passing out several D's, and he felt that the Ravenclaw still gagging on fumes could certainly deserve a T. It had only been his own ingenuity that saved the whole room from a horrific death; the boy would stop crying by the end of the period. Or perhaps his eyes were still watering from the gas. Both were equally likely, after all. 

And Female Weasley was glaring again. Perhaps she'd heard about Potter's latest poorly thought-out grudge. Ah well. Her potion seemed to be progressing adequately, at least, though she had ignored some of his suggestions on the board. He suddenly noticed a Gryffindor boy about to dump in an  _ entire _ root of belladonna, and swooped in to forget his earlier preoccupation with Luna’s safety until the end of class. She hadn't poisoned anyone yet, though Severus didn't want to put anything past a Lovegood. 

 

This possibility was brought drastically to the front when he saw Lovegood’s flask, tied cheerily with a little white bow around the neck. That was the first clue. He had already realized that Luna seemed to use white on what she considered to be well done projects. Whether they corresponded to the day's lesson or not, of course . He seemed to remember her father being somewhat similar. The colors seemed to follow little discernable scheme in general, but as with all Ravenclaw actions, there was undeniably some reason behind it.

He was briefly distracted by Lovegood and Female Weasley's argument as they left the dungeon carrying the device. “My dad works with muggle artifacts.  _ It's illegal _ . I would know.” “But I'm not going to show it to any muggles. I'm using it for  _ potions _ , which are specifically designed to not be given to muggles. You know that.” “Luna,I'm trying to tell you that  _ it doesn't matter _ . It's still a Muggle device, and...” The voices were lost in the hallway as Female Weasley helped Lovegood lug her Muggle cauldron away. Shaking his head, he returned to his perusal of her bottle with its jauntily tied bow, and promptly froze with shock.

 

The potion was perfect, and Lovegood had spent the first fifteen minutes preparing the mixture, and the rest gormlessly staring at her favorite cobblestone. Life wasn't fair. But another facet of his mind caused him to instantly start backtracking on an attempt to find what, exactly, the lectricity and Muggle cauldron had done to the potion. 

 

After obliviating nearly everyone in the Muggle shop, including the elderly cashier who had suggested an “anti-grease shampoo that worked wonders for my grandson,” Severus was back in Hogwarts with several Muggle cauldrons. He had never been a self-tester of potions, so instead he decided to work on fairly simple ones. Perhaps a plant fertilizer to begin. Then he would work his way up to dosing humans.  

 

Soon, in another year of experimentation and obliviating prying muggle shopkeepers when the cauldrons inevitably exploded, Severus was fairly confident in his own abilities. He determined to create one final test before he revealed the Muggle devices to the public. Perhaps he could send a write up to  _ Potions _ , or  _ Wand and Leeches _ . Even though the devices were legally grey, at best, there were “use in life-saving capacity” and “use without intent or or expectation of muggle involvement” clauses in the new law, so a court would rule on his side, most likely. Or they would create an exception for his discovery. It wouldn't be obstructed for over a year, at least.

Despite his hopes, however, he needed to know if the Muggle cauldrons worked on the most complex classes of potions. He took a quill, and began to write an owl to a person who should throw his work away without a second thought. But, knowing the man, Severus doubted that he would receive that fair reception. And he wouldn't turn an essential potion down, even if it were technically illegal to give experimental potion formats without direct medical supervision. It wouldn't hurt him, even. Probably. None of the plants had died.

 

Remus Lupin was surprised to hear tapping at the window, and shocked to receive an owl a day before the full moon. He was flabbergasted to realize who had sent the note, connected by a white ribbon to the tiny, steaming bottle. 

_ Lupin-  _

_ New format, should remain effective. Recommend dose within 12 hours. Return extensive notes on any variance. Will continue unless owled otherwise.  _

_ SS _

  
Remus smiled to himself. Perhaps old wounds could be healed after all. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is meant to fit around events of the books. Snape's human testing probably took another year, but the court case was delayed until after his death, due to various problems with ministry priorities and bureaucracy. Harry never heard about it, even if Snape's write-up was published in a wizarding medical journal.


End file.
